Serendipity can power some amazing things in our lives, especially when we have to pinch ourselves to believe how wonderful a turn of events can become.

After writing about Dark Hearts, emotional vampires, and narcissists on my Think Like A Black Belt site and writing a few posts on this site (here and here), I found kindred spirits from my readers’ comments and via emails.

We all shared the experience of having a toxic relationship sometime in our lives. Perhaps it was a boss, a spouse, or relative, but the feelings of worthlessness from constant subtle and not-so-subtle sabotage by someone close to us was a common theme. So was how we change ourselves to become strong enough to deal with it.

COLLABORATORS
In the discussions, Betsy Wuebker of Passing Thru and I found a similar desire to put a more concrete face on the toxic dynamics in a way that would help empower others. From that wonderful collaboration came the free ebook, The Narcissists: A User’s Guide. (You can get more details here or download it here.)

As the title ironically indicates, we wrote to ease the sense of powerlessness people feel in a toxic relationship and put readers more in control of their choices.

When Betsy and I put our finishing touches on the ebook’s first design, I received an offer I couldn’t refuse.

AWESOME OFFER
Deborah Dorchak of Sirius Graphix emailed me about a blog post I’d written, and we discovered our mutual interest in martial arts and emotional self defense. I asked her if she would like to also get a sneak peek at our upcoming ebook.

Realizing she was a serious ebook designer, I warned her in an email, “…it’s not pretty as an ebook, but hey, we decided to go less for look and more for much-needed content…”

After reading our ebook, she replied that Sirius Graphix was doing a big campaign to promote their ebook services in February. She asked if Betsy and I would want to participate. All she asked was that they’d be able to use it as an example in their portfolio.

HOLY BUCKETS??
As Betsy described in her post The Magic of Collaboration, “Holy Buckets! We didn’t even need to think about it! We were writers, not designers. Sirius could give us the visual aesthetic we coveted.”

Not only was I blessed to have a great co-author who could cut to the chase, inform and empower, but now we had help from Sirius Graphix with their powerhouse designer Deborah. Her unique and stunning work reflects an author’s heart, story, and message. When the ebook re-design was complete, it was as if Deborah let the design concept flow from us instead of plopping a design option on us haphazardly.

Eliza Fayle of Silver and Grace echoes my sentiments in her review of the book,

“Then {Betsy and Lori} sent me the final product, designed by Deborah Dorchak of Sirius Graphix. My reaction to this? ‘Holy Shit!!!’…The Narcissist: A User’s Guide is a work of art by the authors and the designer. Clearly this is combined effort of a team who truly believe in the book’s message.”

No doubt about it. Serendipity rocks. My thanks to Betsy, Sirius Graphix, and our online friends making the ebook launch of The Narcissist: A User’s Guide a wonderful success.

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Thank you for visiting,
Lori Hoeck

Hear ye; hear ye!

My new blog is up and running at Think Like a Black Belt! I finally combine three passions of mine — the martial arts, teaching, and blogging. Articles and posts help readers discover tips, tricks, and techniques for physical, mental, and emotional self defense.

The latest posts are:

• How would you face danger or disaster?

• Self Defense with ‘Heel Palm Strike’

• Defense Against the Dark Hearts

• No one wants this kind of relationship!

• Think like a Black Belt? Yes you can!

To help start the blog off with a kick, Barbara Swafford of Blogging Without a Blog showcased Think Like a Black Belt in a review called Kicking It. Barbara’s awesome community of readers and fellow bloggers responded wonderfully! What can I say, the lady rocks!

Thank you to all who dropped by:

Davina — Shades of Crimson

Janice — Sharing the Journey

Jan — WritingToExhale

Sean — Writer Dad (and Ghostwriter Dad)

Caroline — The Zen in You

Tricia –Shout

Betsy – PassingThru.com

Vered — Momgrind

Joanna Young — Confident Writing

Floreta — The Solitary Panda

Sara — the sharing connection

Cindy — CindyPlatt.com

Thank you everyone for a great kick-off!

Since this blog explores writing, I’m including a favorite post from my previous blog:

Twenty-nine years ago when I was a young adult in Aspen, Colorado, a one-man show came to town. A talented, but fairly unknown actor (not Hal Holbrook) had memorized almost every line and moment of Mark Twain’s life — my favorite author at the time. The actor even had the look, gestures, and witticism of Samuel Langhorne Clemens down to an art.

I sat mesmerized by the performer, enthralled to see Mark Twain come alive before my very eyes. Every wave of the cigar, each dancing smile of self-satisfaction at a joke well received, and the playful Southern accent drew me into the act.

Toward the end of an fun evening of entertaining, the actor said he would answer any questions from the audience. The Aspen crowd was quick to ask Mark Twain about his take on current politics and trends. The actor enjoyed adding Twain’s satire to his answers and obviously had fun with the give and take.

Finally, I raised my hand. Sweeping across the room, expecting another barbed questioned, he drew near and asked, “And what would your question be little lady?”

I replied, “I want to be a writer. What do I do to become a better writer?”

Suddenly the room fell silent. The actor and audience looked into my earnest face, and they realized I wanted Mark Twain, not the actor, to answer my question.

The man’s face softened, his mind switched gears, and he drew even closer, as if Mark Twain and this young woman were to have a private conversation. Everyone leaned forward to listen.

Mark Twain looked me in the eye and said, “Experience of life — not of books — is the only capital usable in writing well, and one can make no judicious use of this capital while it is new.”*

Quite frankly, I don’t remember the words exactly, I just remember he talked about living life more fully so you can write more deeply and richly.

In that one, stellar moment, my writing hero came down from on high and touched me with his words. As I looked into those Mark Twain eyes, I did hear that old father of American literature answer my question, and it changed my life. In those eyes, I felt Mark Twain bless my journey as a writer, a journey I’m still taking.

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Thank you for visiting,
Lori Hoeck

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